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Last December, I suffered from a bulged disc in my lower back and was out of work for a few weeks.  Even after I returned to “normal,” I still was in a lot of pain and got tired very quickly.  After months of chiropractic care and weeks of physical therapy, I finally started feeling like myself in May.

Now, any time I’m even a little sore, I get worried that it’s going to happen again.

This weekend, I had a lot of physical labor… bending, twisting, stretching, lifting, all things that I couldn’t even dream of doing 8 months ago.   Yesterday, I spent a very cold day on the golf course for work in a folding camping chair that offered no lumbar support.  To say that I felt stiff at the end of the day would be an understatement.

Today, my back is throbbing.  I’m tired, both mentally and physically, and it’s only Tuesday.  My week ahead brings a lot of stress and many, many hours sitting in the car which is always difficult.  It makes me nervous to think about how I’ll feel by the weekend.

What might just be an annoyance for some people is terrifying for me.  I simply can’t end up in bed for six weeks again, barely able to move.  The thought of going through that again makes me want to cry.  While I’m sure I’ll be fine and that this is just a little bit of normal back pain, I still get scared.

It wasn’t all a bad experience, thankfully.  I found my wonderful little house because of my “forced vacation.”  I learned to humble myself and rely on others in a way I never had before.  I have been continuing my physical therapy exercises strengthen my back muscles.  In some ways, my back is better today than it’s ever been.  I just hope it stays that way.
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