I have been thinking about writing again for a while and everything I think about writing seems to be a terribly mundane way to get back to blogging. No one wants to hear about the little trifles that take place in my daily life, especially when I’ve been so out of touch. But today, I’ve decided to jump back in with an anecdote that (I hope) will make you all laugh.
There is a girl who works at the Subway shop attached to work that likes to mayonnaise shame me. What should be a simple sandwich request has become a full-fledged belly laugh around the office.
“I’d also like some mayonnaise…” I said innocently the first time.
“Lite mayonnaise?” she asked, looking up at me with a quirk to her eyebrow.
“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered, knowing my sandwich wouldn’t be quite so fulfilling but at least I didn’t have to admit to the shamer that what I wanted was the full fat stuff that she clearly didn’t think I needed.
This took place months ago. I’ve ordered many a sandwich from Subway in the meantime and only hoped I wouldn’t have to order my condiments from the shamer again. My coworkers and I actually laughed about the incident just this morning.
And then I ordered my usual for lunch… six-inch tuna on wheat… toasted with provolone… green peppers, onions, lettuce, spinach, black olives, cucumbers… and the (dreaded) mayonnaise.
She looked up at me and said “Lite mayonnaise?”
To which I replied, “You know… you really shouldn’t do that when I clearly ordered plain old mayonnaise.” (Thankfully her coworker backed me up at this point.)
“I’m sick of your mayonnaise shaming,” I said, as I watched her drizzle just a little of the regular stuff on my heaping sandwich. Unfortunately, I was too ashamed to ask for more.